Thursday, May 24, 2012

Status Update


Why is it so damned difficult to find out how many brain cells die every time I see all the stars?

It’s a simple inquiry, so I think.  Now I’m consumed with the scores of other unrelated concerns about brain maintenance and function.

I’m killing off plenty with every sneeze.  My sneezes are much worse than the median, and I fear I’m taking a lead on the death spiral there.

The number of tumors floating around where the brain used to be appears to be incalculable.  They’re just up there hiding, occupying burnt synapses and possibly dark matter spaces.  This is terminal, to be sure, and it’s just a matter of time.

Might have a stroke.  Hell, I’ve already been duped into thinking this once before, long before the true heyday of internet.  I would have known that my stroke fears were quite definitely the result of concussion or hemorrhage.

One thing I know with utter certainty:  I kill off a hell of a lot of brain cells each time I open my internet browser.

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